When pooping is necessary

I don't know Beth Ditto (lead singer of The Gossip) personally but she makes me want to die inside. I have my reasons though - if you shave your eyebrows the very least you can do is fill them back in with a sharpie. It's just fucking rude. I live in Portland and the only celebrity sighting I've had in this god-forsaken city was at a CD shop downtown. The abominable Beth was traipsing around like a kid in a candy store and I instinctively shit my pants in an effort to throw her off my scent.

I've never really listened to The Gossip but I can already tell that it would irritate the living hell out of me. And I need that precious living hell to keep me going, especially with the frozen madness that is creepily falling from the sky at the moment. Now would be a perfect time for Beth Ditto to come out of hiding, actually. I work at a residential facility for children, and we should seriously contract that righteously heinous yeti to come out from her cave into the snowy hills of SE Powell when the kids are being little bastards (which is always). She would gobble up the bad ones and teach the others to listen! Wanna see a preview of what that shit would look like? Enjoy the video link below...