An open letter to the snow

Dear Snow,

Suck a fat, green dick.

Thanks,

-David

I could not be more over this shit. I guess the only good to come out of it is the fact that I get to wear my silly gloves. You know, the kind with the cut out fingers/mitten pull-over covers so you can switch it up when you please. It's easy-access at it's finest.

Speaking of easy-access, I was at my physical therapists the other day and he made me strip down to my pink and red-hearted boxers. He puts me in the most awkward positions; positions that definitely do not feel normal if one of you is clothed. Anyway, as he was folding my leg over my chest with my other leg raised high in the air, my junk totally fell out of my boxers in plain view of the doc. I made a really awkward noise, turned red, and then did my best to close up shop. He was thankfully very professional about it, but in a way I was really hoping if I showed him mine he would show me his. He's totally my type; 34, scruffy, stocky, latino. Whatevs, he has my number if he wants to give me a call.

In other news, happy Bush-free America! Now when I read quotes from our president I won't curse like I have tourettes anymore, people were really starting to get concerned. I just couldn't put up with the pure horseshit that came out of GW's mouth. The man has forever tainted the way it feels to be a Texan - now I am ashamed and scared of Texas. On a serious note, I really hope Obama doesn't get assassinated. It would seriously ruin the next four years.

Well... here's to hoping we all get laid this week! HAPPY MONDAY!