There IS a Jesus

Call me a fuckface for thinking this is funny, but I seriously have a major case of the lols.

OMG stop flying

People constantly ridicule me for being such a pansy when it comes to flying in an airplane. I can't even look at an airplane without getting nervous unless I've pumped copious amounts of alcohol and/or mood stabilizers into my blood system. But then things like this happen and people realize I'm not a complete crazy person. I swear to god I'm never going to get on another plane for the rest of my life.

Everyone take a walk in a park, slow the fuck down and avoid all kinds of man made machines, especially ones that go faster than 5 miles an hour. I'm taking the day off and am hiding under the covers until this bitch of a Friday the 13th is over. Mommy I'm scared.